Post 4- Friendship

To be honest, when it comes to friendship I am so lucky. I never even really realized how lucky I was until recently. I've had the same 3 best friends since before I can even remember. The 4 of us have a bond so strong it is unbelievable. The thing is we are all so diffferent, that I sometimes wonder had I not spent every waking moment of my life with them, would I even be friends with them? The answer is probably not. The reason being that friendships are so fake. We tend to befriend people that are similar to us, people we can relate too. Then we form groups, and within that group we make up the "wierd people" the "popular people" the "sporty people", and so on. What I realized, however, is that these groups keep us from expanding our horizons. Which is why, in changing schools, I have been given the opportunity to not be grouped. I have friends from all sorts of groups. I have my Bishop's friends, my Peninsula High School friends, my 3 best friends from home, my LA friends, my sailing friends, my guy friends.. the list goes on and on. I prefer it this way, because I am not tied down. I can enjoy the company of all different sorts of people... rich, poor, popular, not popular, urban, beachy.. whatever.  

On being an Emmersonian friend, I've decided the best thing to talk about are my 3 best friends. Let me just start by saying how different we really are. One of us is blonde and ditzy and doesn't really care about school, doesn't really have any large ambitions, but easily goes with the flow. One is very smart, straight A student, Harvard bound, very cautious, and plays volleyball ALL the time. Another one is very dramatic, a dancer, hard-working, but when in a good mood a lot of fun. Then, of course there is me, a pretty laid back, but pensive person, who is extremely spontaneous, and loves to travel.  The 4 of us have been friends pretty much since birth, and honestly they know me almost better than I know myself. I have always been the most independent from the group in that I have never gone to the same school as them, and I constantly change my routine. Yet, none of this has ever put a damper on our friendship. I may be 2 hours away from them, but nothing has changed. Emmerson says that true friendship will last even if you don't see the friend all the time. I know that even though I haven't really talked to them this week, that we are still as close as ever. Our friendship is something, sometimes I don't even understand. I'm not usually comfortable in silence, for example, but with them I'm comfortable whether we talk or not. Sometimes one of them will call, and we'll just sit in silence for maybe 5 minutes, but it's just so comforting to know that I have someone on the other line. The 4 of us recently spent a weekend together in Catalina. Over the course of that weekend I never once thought about what I was going to say before I said it, never once held back for the fear of being judged, never once refrained from being who I truly am. It was one of the best weekends I have ever had. With them I am an Emmersonian friend, I didn't even need a day to experiment being one; I am one everyday.

Post 3- Nature

Location: Sunset Cliffs, Point Loma

Water is the most stable thing I know. 

Maybe, that's why I feel the need to be near it constantly. Personally, I am not a very stable person. I love change. I live for change. When given the option of stability or risks, I will always choose the risk, because I am not a fan of the safe, the boring, the same. Water moves with me. No matter where I go, or how I change; it is always there to greet me. The world is connected by water, so when I look out at the ocean in Point Loma, my family and friends can look out at that same ocean in LA. It's a comforting feeling.

As I look out over Sunset Cliffs, the whole thing almost seems surreal to me. It has such a calming effect, nothing else matters. It's pensive. When I look at other people around me, they all seem to be deep in thought, calm. I watch the way the sun reflects on the water, the way the wind sweeps over the waves. Being a sailor and a surfer, I check the wind location, look for light spots, and watch the waves break. I love being on the water. Be it sailing or surfing, I feel so connected to the world. My happiest memories involve the water. As the waves break and crash, break and crash, I am reminded of the times I have spent with the water. 

In surfing, you just have to go for it. You can't hold back. When you see a good wave, you have to take it. Maybe you fall off or get hurt once in awhile, but you have to live for every moment. That's how I live my life on and off the water. I have to risk some things in order to succeed. I know in Redondo Beach where I usually surf up in LA, that the best waves come unexpectedly. Sometimes you sit for hours it seems just waiting for the right wave, but when it comes it never fails to disappoint. What I have learned to do, is just go in without any expectations, because expectations are deadly. I live by this rule daily. I can't let high expectations ruin the moment, because like in surfing, the best things happen unexpectedly. 

Post 2- Gifts

Material things are meaningless. Sure, we may be happy to open a box on Christmas, and find a new iPod or whatever, but eventually it becomes passe. It goes unappreciated. You don't look at the new iPod, and think of your mom everytime you listen to it. What really counts, are the gifts that make you smile, and remind you of the giver everytime you look at it. Those are the best gifts, because they forever leave a smile on your face. Emmerson suggests that we give gifts that are necessary. For example, we may notice that a friend doesn't own any pot holders, so on their next birthday we get them some pot holders, and feel really good about ourselves because we gave them something we thought they needed. While this is all good and fine, people do appreciate recieving things they need, a true gift is "a portion of thyself". Gifts shouldn't be given as an excuse for not being there. Also, gifts should not be given by force. Society sets us up that at least 2 times a year we are required to give gifts, during the holiday season, and on birthdays. This, however, defeats the purpose of gift giving/gift receiving. Gifts should be given, because the giver wants to give them, not because it's an obligation. However, that's the way society is, and I'll admit I enjoy receiving gifts every once in awhile. Gifts are easily forgotten, because they usually don't have meaning behind them. The best gift I ever received was this little desk, a family friend's son had made me, and Dora, the family friend, had hand painted. It was beautiful. Money was tight for them at the time, but they still wanted to give me something for Christmas. When I woke up on Christmas morning, it was sitting unwrapped in my family room. It was so uniquely intriguing. Dora came out of the kitchen with her famous pan dulce, and I was so happy just to have her and her family there with us to celebrate. It was the best Christmas I ever had. The best gift I ever gave was recently for a friend's birthday. It's been really hard for my friendships, since I moved to San Diego. When my friends are having difficult times, it's not very easy for me to just go home to LA and comfort them. Just as it is not easy for them to come down here, and comfort me. My best friend's birthday was a little while ago, and she hasn't had the easiest year. My changing schools really upset our usual routine. We used to always end up going to lunch together on Sundays. It was never really planned it always just happened. The Sunday of her birthday, I decided to just show up at her house. I woke up, and just drove there. I didn't tell anyone, I just went. Seeing her face, when she answered the door led me to believe, that just being there was the best gift I could have given her.

Post 1-Self Reliance

"What I must do, is all that concerns me, not what the people think."

People have this notion that they need to do things in order to be accepted. The want or desire of acceptance is human nature. When all is said and done, however, who do we really have? Ourselves. Therefore, before we go after the acceptance we crave, we must first search for the acceptance within ourselves. We are, who we are, so we need to act on that or we will never be satisfied. Our friends should tolerate who we are, and what we do. The only way to let others into your life is to let yourself in first. Knowing yourself allows you to know others. We should follow our instincts, because they are true to us. When we stop and ask for advise we let others take over our initial thoughts, which in some cases may be good, because getting various perspectives on things is always helpful, but as long as we don't let our intuition go unheard. For the most part, however, acting on impulse is the truest form of action. When we let others' thoughts get in the way of our own, we are far from being self-reliant. "If you would be a man, speak today what you think today... and tomorrow speak what you think in hard words again, though it contradicts everything you said today"(75). Who cares if your thoughts contradict each other, changing your mind is a part of life, a learning process, so don't be afraid to speak your mind and then later to change it. People may smirk and say, "Oh, well, that's not what Alex said yesterday!", but yesterday is in the past. "What I must do is all that concerns me, not what people think." Also, why should it matter if I choose to make a fool of myself? As long as I like who I am, and as long as I accept myself for who I am, the rest will follow. Self-reliance goes hand in hand with self-respect. I should respect my thoughts, purely because they are my own. They are all that I have. Having a good relationship with myself allows me to have good relationships with other people. In other words, in order to befriend other people, I must befriend myself first. I must realize my insecurities, my good qualities and bad ones, my inner most thoughts, and I must realize what I stand for, so that I can carry that out with ease in my daily life. I know that I am a very perceptive person, and that I don't hold grudges. I also know that I forgive too easily, and I get hurt too easily. I'm emotional, but I'm strong. I'm independent, and I know that in the end, I am all that I have.